It is Christmas Day, December 25, 2009, and this year has been an extremely hard year for many families due to the economy. Our family was affected by this, although not as hard or as much as others we know. We have a warm home, comfortable beds, food on the table, clothes on our backs, a job, a beautiful home that is kept clean and decorated nicely and many more things that we take for granted on a daily basis, and for all of this I thank God everyday. But we have been affected none the less.
Our Christmas this year was a tough one. I truly believe in the true meaning of Christmas and remember the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. That should be all there is to it, right? However, there's just something about giving gifts and sending out cards that help bring the love of Christ in our lives as well as the lives of others. I like to receive gifts too, who doesn't, but that truly doesn't matter to me. I don't need to have presents under the tree for myself, I only wish it for others.
This year, sadly, we were not able to provide the ideal Christmas morning for our kids like we would have wanted to. We got depressed and sad early on because we could see this coming for some time now and we let it affect our attitudes. We did not take family photos to put on a photo Christmas card, we didn't even take the extra paper cards from years past and write a single Christmas greeting to either of our families or friends. I have been grumpy and short with folks, and people are wondering why. It is affecting my personal life, my work life and my spiritual life.
Last night we had a late night gift delivery left on our doorstep. An anonymous gift that was so beautifully wrapped. We decided to put it under the tree so there would be something for Alecia to open in the morning. This morning Alecia opened it up and it was a book by Glen Beck titled "The Christmas Sweater." I saw the book and had a feeling there was more than meets the eye to this gift. The pages looked a little fluffier than a normal book. Brooklynn started thumbing through the pages and there was a little extra something between each of the first 50 pages. Yes, it was money, but how much I don't want to say. Tears welled up in my eyes more and more with each page that B turned to. I was amazed at the generosity someone had given to us this Christmas season, especially when we chose not to do anything.
I am so thankful for this person, whoever it was, for this more than generous gift. I have my suspicions on who gave it to us, as it just happens to be the same amount we have left to pay on one of our outstanding bills, and only a few people knew what that was.
I have so many feelings and thoughts going through my head right now, I just don't know how to put it all in words. Like I say, it has been a tough year. My thoughts for this next year are some of fear. How do I get off the Titanic and brave the dangerous icebergs and chilly waters that await me. I need not be afraid to leap, but I am. There is so much I am responsible for and I don't want to let others down.
Some of my goals for this next year will include overcoming that fear, looking for a better way to provide for my family and be a more spiritual and loving individual.
